Updated: Oct 22, 2021
Hello, and welcome to another exclusive interview from Swoonworthy Battle Heroes magazine! If you’re new to this publication, here’s what you need to know:
SBH is an elite club exclusively for fantastical, swoon-inducing battle heroes! In an effort to acknowledge the amazing women who fight evil alongside their male counterparts, SBH has just launched a Warrior Women division. This issue debuts the first female inductees.
Membership in SBH/Warrior Women is determined by the 4 pillars of heroism: courage, character, conquering-of-evil, and charisma (aka swoonworthiness).
This month we’re inducting FOUR new members —
Amelia, a dual-born Daughter of Power now fighting evil in Arameth*, along with Lytira, the warrior-queen of the Sephram. These two women helped turn the tide of the battle in Arameth*, and one of them even prevented the (re)death of a prophesied hero! And…
Calla, wolf-shifting princess of Schwarzwald**, along with Hayden, powerful wolf-shifting witch of Schattenland** , who are both working diligently to extinguish evil from The Black Forest!
*Arameth is a nexus world, one which touches Earth and other dimensions, but don’t worry; the heroes of Arameth won’t let anything happen to Earth… or at least, they’ll try not to. You can find out more in the Legends of Arameth series, starting with The Lex Chronicles trilogy by Crystal Crawford.
**Schwarzwald and Schattenland are part of a cloaked fairy tale kingdom hidden in the Black Forest of Germany, not that you’ll ever be able to find anything on it in the “normal” history books. To find out more about Schwarzwald, Schattenland, and their heroes, check out The Immortal Grimm Brothers’ Guide to Sociopathic Princesses series by M.J. Padgett (don’t forget to check out her blog, too!).
And now, the feature you all came here to see…
Swoonworthy Battle Heroes presents:
an exclusive peek at our latest Warrior Women club induction, featuring Lytira and Amelia from Arameth, and Calla and Hayden from Schwarzwald and Schattenland!
hosted by Lex and Jack
Lex: Welcome, ladies, to this special edition of Swoonworthy Battle Heroes: and the launch of our Warrior Women edition. We’re really excited to have you here! For our readers, here’s what to expect today… we’ll be doing two interviews, first with Lytira and Amelia from Arameth, and then a second with Calla and Hayden of Schwarzwald and Schattenland. Today, Jack and I will be heading up the interviews, as Wil and Acarius are… well, they’re just not as entertaining as we are, right Jack?
Jack: What? Sorry, didn’t hear you. I was eating.
Lex: Is that… hey, I told you to get your own peanut butter! That was my last jar!
Jack: Here, have it back, whiny baby.
Lex: Ew, no. You ate straight out of the jar. You owe me a new one.
Jack: Get in line, buddy. I owe, like, ten people jars of peanut butter.
Amelia: Um… guys… aren’t we supposed to be answering questions or something? I thought this was about us.
Jack: I’m ready. Lex is the one whining about peanut butter.
Lex: That’s it. I’m hiding your spoon.
Amelia: Won’t he just eat it with his fingers, then?
Jack: Yes. God gave me ten built-in spoons, Son of Prophewhatever.
Lex: Seriously? How did you ever make it in as a Swoonworthy Battle Hero if your fingers are always greasy from peanut butter? How do you even hold a weapon?
Jack: Surprisingly well. It sort of adds grip. You wouldn’t think that but–hey, does Lytira’s eye always twitch like that?
Amelia: Only when she’s about to stab someone.
Lex: Well, time to get back to the interview! Lytira, how about we ask you the first question?
Lytira: You may ask Amelia or myself. That is why we are here, is it not? I did not come here to discuss your snacking preferences.
Jack: Peanut butter is not a snack, it’s a lifestyle, but anyway… Lex tells me you are the bravest warrior he knows, Lytira. Can you tell us what your specialties are?
Lytira: Specialties? I kill those who need to be killed in the way that best kills them. I have many techniques at my disposal.
Jack: That sounds like a reasonable approach to dispatching evil. Do you have a preferred technique that would, say, rid the world of the evilest evil to ever live?
Lytira: *narrowing her eyes* I am partial to stabbing.
Lex: I can vouch for that one. So, Lytira, would you like to share some of your unique abilities? You know, the ones that, say… someone who isn’t Sephram wouldn’t be able to do?
Lytira: You know we do not openly discuss those things. Our mystery keeps us at an advantage over our enemies.
Lex: Right. Okay… Amelia? Why don’t you share some of your abilities?
Amelia: Well, I mean, I’m not like… a fighter, exactly… but I can do magic…
Jack: Ooh! Like fairy magic or something else? Please don’t say gooey evil magic because we have enough of that to last a lifetime–or many lifetimes–but fairy magic, or really anything else is cool.
Amelia: Gooey? No, I wouldn’t say it’s gooey. And definitely not evil. It’s more like… bright? Honestly, it’s not so much attacking-type magic as like a “stop the dark magic from killing all of us” type thing.